Hawaiian Grocery Stores Reportedly Overrun With Spam Bandits
Hawaii is under siege by Spam bandits. Individuals in the state have pulled off a series of brazen canned-meat heists. The thefts have become so common, the Washington Post reports, that some shops are protecting the mystery-meat gold by locking it in plastic cases usually reserved for pricier items.
At a Safeway on Oahu, a customer spotted a man who grabbed eight cases of Spam and made a beeline for the exit. In another instance, three women at a Longs drugstore filled shopping carts with 18 cases of Spam and bolted — but were thwarted by a customer no doubt compelled to defend Hawaii’s Spam supply. Meanwhile, the Honolulu Police Department has offered $1,000 for a Spam thief, and his alleged accomplice, who attacked a security guard that tried to protect his employer’s Spam. (Where’s America’s most badass service-industry professional when you need him?)
These Spam-burglars aren’t part of some noble Robin Hood–like pursuit. Instead, officials say the thefts are due to the state’s thriving Spam black market. Tina Yamaki, president of the Retail Merchants of Hawaii, tells the Washington Post that the heists are “organized retail crime” and not driven by a need to eat or feed a family.
As with all heists, you want to track the wares. However, it’s unclear where this hot Spam is being sold, but it might be out of the back of cars, which is also fitting. And with Hawaii’s insatiable demand for the “pork” product, can they really put a lid on this canned-meat black market now that it’s been opened wide?
It’s probably been that many years since spam passed my lips too but only because I found bacon and a fried egg on a roll was a meal to die for(not in the literal sense). I go out of my way for a delicious bacon and egg breakfast.
I don’t share your old enthusiasm for Spam, but I’m certainly glad it may have saved your life by setting off your ticker. John got his warning while we were taking our morning walk. His arm was hurting in a peculiar way. We walked slowly home, and he went to the doctor that afternoon. One stent later, he is doing well. His heart doctor likes to talk history with him.
SPAM SPAM SPAM… I DO NOT EAT GREEN EGGS OR SPAM… SAID SAM I
AM… SO VERY HAPPY THIS SAVED YOUR LIFE TICK-TOCK
My mother-in-law fries it (with grease), as if it isn’t greasy enough. She also makes sandwiches out of Vienna Sausages too.I have eaten Spam, but I’m not real fond of it.
I never had to grease the pan, your correct, it’s greasy enough already.
Although this makes no sense. Spam backwards is maps, which can lead one away from the plaque, or is that plague, of coronary occlusions, or is it delusions. In any event, this dissertation, or is it disorientation, is prompted by today’s unfortunate experiment with twice as much coffee as usual. Please free to delete or just mark as junk (food). No logical reply expected.